What's the Dealio, Yo?
Whenever I get one of these winning open liners, I so want to - very seriously - ask, "Does that ever actually work for you?"
I try to imagine what woman in her right mind, would respond to these sexist pigs. Some must, or they wouldn't keep doing it, right? We may never know. I posited the question to our latest poon troll asshole, johnbearteam from OKCupid, but have yet to get a response.
Not that he hasn't responded at all - oh no, he's left just enough juicy tidbits for me to share with you all and so you can, along with me, say, "What a fucking asshole."
Hijynx's Chats, OKCupid | Comment (0)They're Not Just in IMs
Poon trolls and total dicks abound, and it isn't just on instant messengers. On a social networking site I frequent, one such idiot - who calls himself dj_madcracker (wtf?) - messaged me with the opener, "wow you are absolutely beautiful".
You're kidding, right? Do men honestly think that impresses a woman more than just talking to her? Introducing yourself, maybe? Was I supposed to be flattered? Hardly; it's probably the same shit he messages to every woman just to see how many bites back he gets.
Curious, though, to see if I was right (I have a nose for disrespectful assholes and chauvinistic jerks), I messaged him back, simply, "Well, thank you!!". Heh.
Of course, he jumped right on that (got a hit! woot!). His next words made my skin crawl: "so hey cutie tell me more about you"
Rule #1, do not - do not ever under any circumstances - call me "cutie", "honey", "sweetie", "baby", etc. Ever. I find it degrading to call a woman you do not know intimate, pet names. Talk to her like a human being and show some respect. You don't call another guy silly, pet names when you meet him, do you? I bet you don't. So don't do it when you talk to a woman! Right away I could tell what kind of an asshole this guy was; little to no actual respect for women - he sees them as objects or just something to utilize to get off.
You think that's a bit much to ascertain just from his response? It isn't. He was, as you will see, every bit the chauvinist I knew he would turn out to be...
Hijynx's Chats, OKCupid | Comments (2)You Are Angry, Call Me
Yes, I swear, "you are angry" was in the very first message I got from this person I had never spoken to before in my life. No, I was not angry but by time this clueless idiot was through, I most certainly was.
Was absolutely not in the mood to chat up a moron yet this one - like most of them - couldn't seem to take a hint. In fact, Mahzar wouldn't know a hint if one walked up, whipped out its dick, and slapped him in the face with it.
Hijynx's Best Ever Transcript, Hijynx's Chats | Comments (3)Knock, Knock. Who's There? A Big Dick
Ever made a complete ass of yourself via instant message and - having been called out on it - wish you had a response to save your skin? Try the tested & oft-opted for "blame it on an imaginary pal" trick. Anytime someone accuses you of stepping over the line, just jump in with, "That wasn't me! It was my friend!" and your name will be immediately cleared!
Trust me, the old "that wasn't me on my account last night; I gave my sister's gym teacher's boyfriend's dog groomer's sister-in-law's leprous-cousin's acupuncturist my password the other day and they were on my account!" is nine times out ten complete and utter bullshit.
Note, too, how someone only cops to letting someone else use their account or accuses someone of impersonating them when they're being chauvinistic assholes. I've never had someone who was being gracious and kind jump in midway through our chat and say, "Look bitch - that was my sweeter, more civilized brother you were just talking to. He knows better than to be on my computer without permission so after I beat his ass I want to lick you."
419 Scams, Hijynx's Chats | Comment (0)Spam & Scam
I'd like to introduce everyone to our newest poon troll-catcher & fed-up, female IM'er, Chloe. Chloe joins our team with an offering that is part spam, part scam - and all bot. Though this 'script is sent out by a bot and not a pervy pooner, we've decided to share it so that others may be forewarned and won't inadvertently take the bait.
If a message from a supposedly "secret admirer" has been sent to you, calling you by your first name and insisting they've taken "risque" photos of themselves (with your name drawn on their bod) that you can only access by going to a certain website and you're wondering just how legit this can possibly be, then you've come to the right place.
Doing some Googling about this spammy scam brought up some people who had gotten this particular IM-scam and were a little freaked out and even frightened. By posting this transcript, we hope to show that when this lands in your instant messaging window there is nothing to be afraid of and absolutely no danger of an actual freaky stalker lurking amongst your real life contacts.
This is no more than a very lame attempt at spam; sent by a bot with the intention of having you sign-up and pay money to access their (obviously also lame) website. Don't click on the link (but no worries if you do - it doesn't appear to be virus-ridden) and - whatever you do - do NOT give your financial information to the site in question.
There is no "secret admirer" with one-day-only access to YM who has nudey pics and vids of themselves with your name doodled across their bodies. Trust us. Just delete and ignore, or report it as spam and try not to imagine that geeky co-worker who flashes you nervous smiles every day drawing a flower around his nipple with a red Sharpie. Even if he harbors a secret crush on you, chances are this is the last way he'd approach you with it.
The website is golivesafe.com and the link the bot tries to send you to is golivesafe.com/access/ - obviously a site that advertises thus is not one worth ever visiting or patronizing.
Chloe's Chats | Comments (12)See Photo or No Chat!
Qasi Iqbal from Islamabad, Pakistan is a demanding, little fuck. Throughout our conversation - which I kept going only for the sake of this site - he regularly demanded that I share my photo(s) with him. Even if I did, a few minutes later he demanded to see another. If I balked, he threatened to leave the chat. What a fucktard. Trust me, I didn't beg him to stay because of his stimulating dialogue. It was more because a stupid asshole like that just deserves to have his words forever sealed onto the Internet archives, along with his name and photo. I don't know if they are real (his location is the only thing I can attest to with certainty), but for his sake I hope they aren't.
Look At My Cock on Cam
No English, no problem. As long as you'll look at my (doubtfully) big cock on cam.
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